You have a grand fairy tale wedding and the prince comes on a horse to take you away to his castle. You have already painted a pretty picture of how it’s going to be for the rest of your life with him. He is your childhood sweetheart and you think the journey will be a cake walk. However, only a few months after you say “I Do”, all your expectations come crashing down. You realise that marriage is far more realistic and practical than what you expected. Read through to know the common myths about life after marriage that young couples firmly believe to be true :
Marriage is for a lifetime
It’s fair to want your happily ever after but if you have tried your best but there seems to be no solution to your problems, don’t insist to live with someone forever. Unlike the older times, where two people had to work through their marriage no matter what, today’s generation has more of a ‘my way or the highway’ kind of an attitude. Earlier, there was simply no room for divorce even if two people were perpetually unhappy. For better or for worse, the word ‘divorce’ is not a taboo anymore. With the growing change in ideologies and far more independent and self-motivated men and women, marriages have had a facelift. Accept the change and move on if its just not working out.
Romantic dates
If you think marriage is all about champagne bottles waiting to pop and moonlight dinners with scented candles all around, you really need a reality check. With marriage comes practicality, which more often than not over shadows romance. Nowadays, both men and women being fiercely ambitious and independent leads to high stress levels, lack of interpersonal communication and hence, less romantic dates. A lot more time is spent at office and with much less time at home, cozy dinners take a back seat. To save yourself from disappointment, it is imperative to be more rational, less emotional.
Getting laid everyday
Before you even know it, physical intimacy is far from the gamut of your mythical thinking. Your honeymoon period is going to end as soon as you get back from one. Forever holding hands or sex every day is not going to happen as boredom takes precedence. Higher stress levels is inversely proportional to lower libido levels. It is certainly going to be hard to perform when your mind is not ready. Accept it, chill and give yourself and your spouse space. Let it happen naturally and don’t lack of sex get to you.
Marriage is a solution to loneliness
Well, if you thought you married to fight your loneliness, you have it all wrong. Because the truth is that marriage can become the prime cause of your loneliness. This is of course assuming that your spouse travels about 25 days a month, has a job that is physically demanding and you are left all alone juggling the household chores and your career. All of it can get emotionally and physically draining leading to depression and loneliness. So do not marry to fill in that void; as with that kind of an outlook, marriage can leave you bored and lonely very soon.
Aunties stop tormenting
Did you just get an over indulgent relative off your back after the wedding? Wait up, there’s more coming your way. Less than a year into marriage and you will be bombarded with awkward questions about your first baby, weight, food, etc. Affection turns into strangulation. Hence, welcome weird questions with open arms, listen, ignore and don’t let them hassle you.
Disagreements can end your marriage
Did this thought even cross your mind? If it did, then you should be laughing at yourself. More the fights, more you strengthen the bond with your spouse. It is essential to communicate, have disagreements and sort it out to have a deep and everlasting relationship. So go on- fight, kiss and make up.
Like father/mother, like spouse
If you have always been your daddy’s little girl, don’t expect your husband to pamper you the exact same way as the man who brought you into this world. He will certainly make you feel special in his own way but it is not right to expect him to think and act like your father. Similarly, a mamma’s boy might expect his spouse to cook and look after him just the way his mother does. Always remember, she has come into your life to coexist and love brought you two closer. With time, she will try and figure out ways of handling things that match yours, but it is unfair to expect this change right after marriage.
Live in and you are hitched forever
Marriage brings with it a lot of responsibility. Probably, while you were living in, you took things for granted as the relationship did not involve any commitment. Once marriage is on paper, certain couples feel claustrophobic and want to walk away. So it is essential to start accepting, taking responsibility and playing your respective roles rather than envisage the times while you were just living in with each other.
No. 1 on the priorities lists
Priorities change with time, and as couples mature in their relationship other aspects take precedence. It is but natural to feel like the centre of his/her world in the beginning but this phase is not going to last forever. You are not always going to be the apple of his/her eye. More responsibilities will eventually pave the way for wisdom and you will soon realise that no one thing remains permanently on top of the chart.
